Gangsters Get Old

Interview with Mr. Erwin Ross, homeless gangster from Skid Row. By Joshua Thaisen

J- Mr. Ross, tell me a little about your life, where were you born? How would you describe your childhood and upbringing?

ER- I was born in Los Angeles California, I was raised in Watts, South Central, and you know… my childhood was good… it was good for living in the ghetto! I ran through the alleys, climbed trees, did everything that a typical young person would do. In 1959 I went to Markham Jr. High, Then I went to Jordan High, got kicked outta there, then I went to an all boys school. My momma come got me coz’ she didn’t want me in there (laughs) went to another high school, got kicked outa there, (chuckles) the last school I went to was Manual Arts. And from Manual Arts I went to the State Penitentiary. I was apart of a group of guys that would just go around vandalizing, so they put us in youth authority for that. That was back in the early 60’s. I stayed in there till about 64, got out, round about that time I got out it was during the riots, 1965 wash-summer riots, after that a whole lotta programs came in, Central City Bricks, Bris Back, Family Program… I been through all those drug programs.. and ah.. I dunno... It didn’t do anything. At that time I liked what I was doin’, at that time I was taking pills, coz that’s what we did. I graduated from there to shooting heroin. I shot heroin for approximately 22 years. I quit in about 1979, somewhere up in there. I picked it back up again in 95, 1 time; I disagreed with it, and have shot up since. I spent that last 20 years in and outta the penitentiary. I get out I go right back, I get out I go back in, in and out… It was always because… they say, “ if you doing the same thing, but expecting different results, your crazy!”… and crazy I was. Me and the Devil… we was home boys, we ran together... you know… but he always seem to leave me…

J- Were you been re-incarcerated for the same offences?

ER- Yeah, Same thing. Standin’ on the same spot, same corner, right by y’all place of business. The lamp. On San Julian. I get done, do 4 years, and go right back there. I repeated that till about 2012. I been out almost 2 years now. Basically its because... I’m sick!... (silence) People ask me when I’m gonna stop goin’ to the penitentiary, I tell them, when I stop liking the drugs that I do. I don’t believe in people wearing a brother down, people die all around ya. And ya couldn’t do this, couldn’t do that. That’s a crock. You do things because you like it. You drink because you like it, I do drugs, because I like it. If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t do it!

J- Mr. Ross, What opportunities existed to you coming out of regular incarceration?

ER- Opportunities?... As I aged… not too many. But, there was a gruel of ‘em out there. There was all kinda’ help, but it was for younger people. I’mma old man… man! I’m 67 years old, when they started programs in south central, you know... I was just on borderline. They had a lot of trade schools that I coulda’ went to…

J- What was life on the streets like? What are the pressures and anxieties you feel living that kind of life? What do you have to worry about?

ER- The next man getting your issue! and your money… when I was coming up I shot a lot of dice, liked to hustle. It started with a car, back then you could go buy a car from the junkyard for 50 dollars, (laughs) and then all the parts… you stole! Old cars, sitting up, doing nothin’. That’s how you started off when you where 15-16 years old. Then as you get older you start either sellin’ weed, or taking peoples money… burglarizing, robbery. That can maintain you until you get into your mid 20’s, the you decide if you’re a playa, or a crook! I decided I was a player. So my thing was shoot dice, and to conn people out of their money. That was my de-light! (laughs). Like you… most of the fellas are real good, they play the game real good. So if you can look the part, you’re a good player. So they start naming you playa. I’m gonna live a playa’s life, I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do that. They just played you outta your money. Tricking people outa their money was one outa a trillion other things that they did.

J- Thank you for your honesty. I want to re-direct the conversation and talk about things you have seen down in Skid Row. Over the years, how has it changed?

ER- Okay, When I was first down Skid Row, they was like winos, people all over drinking, sellin’ pills, weed, and stuff like that. That was in the late 60’s early 70’s. We used to go down there, shoot dice, and sell pills.

J- Would you stay in Skid Row?

ER- No. I didn’t live down there. Didn’t start living down there till way later. Then, I spent a few years not going down there period. But then when I got incarcerated, I went back down there in 83… 1983, I started going back down there. Wasn’t living down there till 95. The transition? the transition in the 80’s came with the gangs. The Crips and the Bloods start coming down there to sell drugs.

J-Are they still down there?

ER- (laughs) Oh yea! They are still down there. Any youngster, that’s 20 and under, is a recognizable gang banger from some gang. You got ‘em all, and you even got them old, 50-55 years old. But recognizable are the young ones, with their pants hangin’ down, recognizable easy. Now, When I went back down there, the transition was I didn’t see winos, that literally drank wine, around the corner, or standin’ on the corner, behind something drinking, laying out. You didn’t see that anymore. In the 80’s, that’s when cocaine, rock, cocaine really hit LA. It changed it. It changed all that. The most money was been made for people down there. You could make a lot in the suburbs, but there was more business in Skid Row. People come from far and near to buy their drugs, from all walks of life. The winos where sorta’ pushed out, back to Alameda. Back on this way you don’t see ‘em no more. Now you don’t even see a can or a bottle. None of that on the streets because they pick ‘em up, and sell ‘em. But, what you do see is congregation… of folks… you see... a cluster of people on different corners. We stand on corners and mid sections of the streets, on the sidewalks. What you think we standing there for? To look at each other? Or to have a meeting? A conversation?... No! Crooks! When you seem ‘em stand out there, no matter how good they look, you in a high density area, full of drugs, next thing you know, old Josh here is in jail. Now you know Josh don’t mess with no drugs! But, they got him on possession? Why? Because me and some other people threw some dope on the ground. Ain’t nobody claimin’ it. And it was closer to Josh then it was too me. So I got a conspiracy, he got a conspiracy, that why we standing there. If a person didn’t want that to happen, he wouldn’t be standing there, he keep on moving.

J- Over the time you have been in Skid Row how have you observed the effectiveness of policing?

ER- Over the years they got a little more slack. Because at times they knew... “Mr. Ross, Come here!, have you been using that heroin? Because you goin’ to jail if you have” ‘coz they knew me. Well you don’t get that no more. Because outa a 100 people 75 is using, 25 is sellin’. So basically they cruise for there 8 hour shift, people are selling people are shooting in the streets, but they don’t do nothin’ no more.

J- Can you describe to me what it is like doing heroin?

ER- Yeah, Yeah… It was the best high in the world, as still is to me. But what goes wid’ it? I can’t hang. When I first did it back in the early 60’s, and I had somebody else shoot it in my arm, and I got sick in the stomach. My stomach got bloated, it was feelin’ that I have never felt before because I wasn’t used to it, so my body was rejecting it, I threw up, you know… I got the vomiting, and throwing up, then after that subside, about 15 minutes, then, I felt the high. I felt the high… then I was high off of heroin. I didn’t like it, at first, because I didn’t understand it. So as it progressed on that day, it got a little bit better, but it took me at least another 3 months to try it again. When I tried it again I was waitin’ for this feeling in my stomach, I get a little knot in my stomach, but I don’t throw up. From there, I dunno… I was shooting dope. Just a little bit, about 10cc’s. 10 cc’s is nothing; you get half a gram for 10 dollars, and a gram for 20 bucks back then. But that’s nothing when you put it in a needle. It’s a drop. Then from there you just progress on. I’m gonna try a little bit more. I’m gonna try me 20. Then 30, and before you knew it I’m up there, 70, 80 ccs. That’s a lot of heroin!, (laughs). Where it tricks you is that one day, outta nowhere you get sick. And you don’t know what’s wrong with ya. You’re all knotted up, but nothing coming up except green stuff, and the lining of your stomach… and your bones ache. And somebody tell you, “you sick man!, you need a fix”. Then okay, you fix; then bam!... your normal. That goes on for a while, then it takes you to another stage. Now if you wanna get high, you have to shoot even more. You shoot some more, that’s when you’re starting to overdose… 4 times for me. But that’s because you’re not a biochemist, you don’t know what in that needle, whether its real good, or mediocre, and I’de shoot a lot of it, then I OD’d. I did that 4 times, some people die, some people don’t. All you did was overdose.

J- How does that change you?

ER- I didn’t change me. At the time I was playing Russian roulette, I mean the gun was on the table!, spin it.. Then bam! When you miss you don’t die. So… (Silence) Let me tell you, In and out of the penitentiary, every time I get out, I go shoot some heroin, one day I decide, we gonna shot dope inside the penitentiary. Then someone says, “man this dope aint no good” I say “none of its no good… I need to quit shooting this stuff”. So I get out, and I only been out a day, and I’m goin to shoot some heroin. I didn’t do it. 10 days go by and I don’t think about it. Another 10 days go by and I don’t think about it. I don’t think about heroin, but I moved over to another drug, that’s why I didn’t think about heroin. And that got me off heroin basically all the way. I was on PCP. Smokin’ that PCP! And Lord have mercy! (laughs)

J- How did regular drug use effect you mentally?

ER- I always question that! (laughs) you know why I question that sometimes? Because I find myself doin’ things that I normally wouldn’t do. Little things… why would I put that over there when I know its goin’ to fall? Why would I go this way, when I’m all tangled up, and I know I wanna go that way. You start to question yourself when your doin’ things in life that common sense don’t agree with.

J- How long did it take for that to start?

ER- Well you see now, now that I’m on this (points to oxygen tube) I don’t get any air to my brain… my blood moves slow they told me. They told me that my blood cells don’t have enough air. Or travellin’ fast enough to my heart, or my brain. So that why I gotta have this 24hrs a day, 7days a week.

J- Is it your condition that lead you here?

ER- Its ironic but, I’ve applied for different housing, and my goal was senior citizens low income housing. I’ve been outta LA too, tryin’ to get it. But I always get put on a list, and the list is like 3-4 years long. I was on Skid Row, living on Skid Row, sleepin’ on the ground, catching pneumonia, goin’ to the hospital, they give me antibiotics, I get back out, go do the same thing, I repeat that (laughs) I keep repeating that, then one day, I said well. I’mma call 911. I’m in my car, and I’m under the parking space at the Midnight Mission. The guy from up under there calls for me, but security came. The ambulance was coming for me, but they couldn’t get me from down there, the guy wanted me to get up on the streets. He didn’t care what I was doin’. So anyway I go up there and give my keys to a friend of mine and say “take me to the hospital”. Well the social worker there that has tried placing me a couple of times says she wants to try this place called the Lamp. Now I got a letter, because when I was incarcerated back in the penitentiary back in 2011, 2010, I got a letter from the Lamp. This place right here. I ran across that letter the other night, it had the address on it, and the ambulance bought me here. Rosa told me about that program that night. She said “HAUS is not a regular shelter, its for people that are sick or injured”. And she told me about that apartment thing. That sold me, I’m gonna get an apartment, other then that I’m just eatin’ hamburgers sodas and that kinda’ thing.

J- What is your advice for young men out there, that may be stepping into your old shoes in Skid Row… what would it be?

ER- Steppin’ into my shoes is a harrrrd thing man… I do more thinkin’ then I do anything. But steppin’ into my shoes? You don’t wanna’ step in them shoes! Not good shoes… On Skid Row you have all these shelters, you have everything you need. Everything is there for you on Skid Row. Now, fixing your mind, saying you wanna’ live on Skid Row… I dunno maybe cant live no where else. Its often said that a lot of the young guys run away from their own neighborhoods, because of something they did, and they have to live down there. I just say this, Mind your own business and take advantage of any programs that come through there, its a lot of them, and if you really want it, you can get you some housing. It might take a little time, but you can get you some. Because a lot of homeless children, mothers, sick people getting it first, but if you just say want a place to stay you can get it. Just take the necessary steps. Hang in… Don’t quit… Don’t give up.